Ass-uming I'm Ass-essing

I just plain hate it when people make assumptions about me. And yet, what's to hate about it? Everyone does it. Even me! I make assumptions all the time about people. I have to make some. I have to make some quick decisions in my work, quick assesments, & I certainly must be wrong at least some of the time. Why do I assume things about people? Lets start somewhere else... Who, what, where, when, why... Who do I assume things about... Clients, family, husbands family, people on line at Citerella, people walking down the street. What do I assume? That they need/want a change but need reassurance that the change will be good. The person is having a bad day. This person was bullied in life, that's why they are a bully themselves. This person has ___ that's why they're ___. That person is ___ which means they were probably ___ as a child. Hey! There are some good assumptions. Some things actually serve to keep us safe: That car ahead of us is weaving on the road so I need to avoid it & perhaps call 911. There is a person walking erratically down the street. This person smells like alcohol & it's 9am. Ok, so these things are observations. When I don't like it is when others launch into assumptions based on simple facts. Do I do this? Yes. I suppose I do, yet I don't like it when I do. What happens is that I am in fact judging this behaviour in myself. Ahhhhh, she says. This is something I do NOT like in myself & am quite critical of, so when someone else does the same to me.... now we're getting somewhere. Damn if the first sign of trouble is something I'm judging within myself which indicates it's a feeling that I can't tolerate. Bottom Line: When I feel judged take these steps. 1)Note the discomfort. 2) Identify the behaviour that I find intolerable. 3) Identify the behaviour within myself 4) Note that the behaviour in fact is not anything on par with something psychotic or insane, but in fact is very much a part of the human condition & forgive myself for having the impulse to begin with. 5) Forgive myself for years of suffering I have put myself through for not allowing myself to be human. Ok, now we're getting somewhere good...