Managing a Dull Ache

How do we learn to trust that the world is a safe place when it really wasn't when we were growing up?
How do we give up old coping mechanisms? I learned to cope with people who were unstable & had a whole host of problems that I didn't realize at the time had nothing whatsoever to do with me. I learned to cope by tuning them out & going numb. Food worked well here. Food really became my drug. Food. And cigarettes which came later. Tobacco was great because it was such an instant hit! And food & cigarettes could be "controlled" in their consumption. It's why I never liked drugs. Alcohol was ok, but I really didn't like things that made me feel out of control. Everything in life needed to be managed. It was NOT safe. My mother was depressed & angry. My dad was drunk & angry. Erratic behaviour. Rules changed constantly. Emotions ran high. Acting out was the norm. I remember watching a LOT of television & eating figures prominently in my life as some of my earliest "good" memories.
I have been eating my feelings for a very long time. They're not as tasty as they used to be & I have a stomach ache. I gave up smoking one year and six months ago. Ahhh... so it is time to give up something else. A very wise person told me recently that at the year and 1/2 mark there would be hell to pay for quitting. Flood of emotion is right.
I'm ready to claim my life. I can't even say re-claim it. I don't think it's ever been mine. Once & for all, this life in this body is MINE. MINE I tell you! And now the gentle part: It's all mine, belongs to me, 100%.